Updated: Digg This Story!
There are too many of these “types” out there. I truly believe that if we simply fired them all, we’d be at 200x production in every facet of life today. There is certainly a tech angle to all this but you can find most of these guys flipping burgers at McDonalds as well.
In all seriousness, fire these guys right now and you will see 100x in productivity next week.
The “Well, It Should Work” Guy. You know this “type” – you know them well. You’ve just spent 45 minutes in a phone queue to get something fixed and the guy on the other side agrees that things aren’t right, but has no way to help you. These guys are even better in your own business because they can look at a blue screen of death or a server as flat as a pancake and actually feel good about offering the advice that “it should work.”
Such critiques aren’t their job. Making the #@$$@ thing work is their job.
The “We Should Use It Cuz It Is Free” Guy. Somehow, somewhere, this guy fell asleep during months of 1st grade math and honestly believes that a service that increases your work week by ten hours is worth it because he didn’t have to pay $30 for a piece of “evil” software.
How could any expenditure that gives you your life back be evil?
And, do I dare say it here, aren’t some things free for a reason?
The “VOIP Is Just Like The Regular Phone” Guy. The this i shou oviou, bu VOI do’t away k he y ou want it to. Sometimes busin s th a nny pe in long dis charges.
Are you there? Are you there?
The “We Don’t Need To Buy It, We Can Build It” Guy. Even worse than the free is holy guy mentioned above is the idiot who honestly believes stalling a project by 6 months to give the team time to write a custom database solution is good thing. Heaven forbid you send a few thousand bucks to some megacorp and start generating one hundred times that much a few years earlier than planned.
Don’t get me wrong, these approaches are great for job security, just crappy for your company.
The “I Print Everything (And In Color)” Guy. This ain’t a green issue. This ain’t a color ink is expensive issue. This is a WHAT, DO YOU OWN FREAKING STOCK IN HP? issue. This guy has two offices – one for him and one for the dead trees that you thought might be smart to hold on a twenty dollar thumb drive.
Funny thing is, this guy often gets promoted cause he’s got “important papers” all around him.
The “I CC (Or FW) You To Not Only Prove That I’m Doing My Job But Prove To Everyone On The Email That I’m Doing My Job” Guy. Yup, a few dozen emails per minute come from this guy and they all have nothing to do with you. Problem is of course that every once in a blue moon, they might have something to do with you so you have to scroll through all of the crap – just in case.
Please, send copies of this blog post to every one you know.
The “I Don’t Like It, Therefore It Doesn’t Work” Guy. This guy is my personal favorite. For some reason very smart people will put their entire marketing campaign, or i.t. infrastructure, budgets into the hands of a guy who still believes that despite billions of dollars that prove otherwise, something “doesn’t work” because they don’t like it. For what it’s worth, they do believe this with all their hearts, they’re just idiots for believing it.
The best part is, once this guy helps you lose a few million here are there because he refuses the believe any numbers that don’t hold a special place in his heart, he’ll still blame you for not listening to him in the end.
And then get back to work.